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BlueHighwind also known as BH also known as Blue also known as Gundam Wing is the Emperor of the Black Moon, First Lord of the Admiralty, Duke of the Netherworld, High Pontiff of the Church of the Space Christ, Lord Commander of the Order of the Bubblegum Blade, and First Sword of the Kingdom of Toasters. He is a very cool dude who is currently sleeping with your Mom. If your Mom is dead, he has gone back in time and is sleeping with her then, making him your Dad. And if you never had a mom, then you don't exist, and in which case, stop reading this page and go back to the Void where Nothings belong. What the heck do we need Nothings for? You don't even exist. Seriously, what's the fucking point of you? You came from nowhere, can do nothing, and will go nowhere. Godammit you people annoy me.

BH was born a poor Black on the streets of Detroit. He pulled himself with a silver spoon he found lying around, changed his color to Blue, and became the despicable rascal we all know and don't particularly love. He is prone to ludicrous claims such as having an indestructible hand dipped in the River Styx and being the voice actor for Lightning in FFXIII. Curiously though, all of these things are true. Don't believe me? Well look them up. Maybe if you went to college and learned something instead of being such an idiot all the time you wouldn't be disputing such simple facts. Read a book and stop failing.

Bacon is a great meal for any day, and is a perfect addition to any sandwich. I've loved bacon ever since I was a little boy and my dad used to cook it every Sunday, even though we were Jewish. However, the Internet is really going a bit overboard with the whole bacon obsession. Its a great salted meat, I understand where the love comes from, but its not God's gift to the Breakfast plate (that's actually a hardboiled egg, you morons). Chill out. You don't need to carve Elder Scrolls characters out of it. Enjoy it, don't make it a huge stupid thing. I know you Internet, once you get your hands on something you'll drive it right into the ground. I can't listen to Rick Astly anymore because of you, don't you dare ruin bacon.

BlueHighwind did not write this page. In fact, he does not even know how to read, and is generally incoherent. Accusing BH of writing this page comes with the penalty of thirteen deaths: four hangings, one lethal injection, two maulings by a tiger, one rocket ride to the Sun, two trips down a bottemless pit, three deaths by nuclear bomb injections, and one top secret death chosen by a special panel of celebrity judges.